First of all, thank you to everyone who got in touch to check on me after my last post. I wasn’t expecting anyone to be so concerned.
I’m not getting rid of my house, husband or dog. The change I’m looking for is simply making space.
I’m sure I’m not the only one who looks back on the good old pre-pandemic days. And in my case back to the gold old pre-stroke days. Where
… the sun shines every dayBurl Ives
And the birds and the bees
And the cigarette trees
The lemonade springs
Where the bluebird sings
In the Big Rock Candy Mountains
It’s a bit melodramatic, but I’m also sure we all have the same memory of things being “better.” And I’d hazard a guess I’m not the only one “running” as fast as I can to get back to that time.
But things are different now.
I did have a stroke.
Which affects me every day.
The only thing to do now is to change the goal posts and make more space.
Making Space in my Home
Since DB and I started talking about renovations, and how to manage them, I started noticing I have a lot of stuff. Too many clothes I don’t wear. Too many books in my to-read pile. Too much food in the pantry and the fridge. There is nowhere calm and restful for my eyes to rest.
It’s time to take a long hard look at my things and simplify. Get rid of the clothes, read the books, and eat the food.
Make space for fresh things to come in.
Making Space in my Schedule
I work for myself. “They” say, if you do something you love, you’ll never work another day, but the truth is, you work every day. You never stop, and you never take a break.
But there is no real reason for that. Just because I can work hard and get stuff done quickly, doesn’t mean I have to. There is no one, aside from me, telling me what to do. I am an awful boss.
I need to make space in my schedule for my life. To spend time with the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, and the dog I want to share her life with. To set office hours; not work after five, or on the weekends, and to enjoy my time with them.
Make space to be instead of do.
Making Space in my Mind
As I mentioned, I work a lot. I’m often trying to remember to do this thing to my website, or that thing to my shop. To take this course or attend that seminar.
Not to mention on the housekeeping side, call this tradesperson, or that shop. Make this appointment or buy that medicine.
So I need to make space to be silent, reflecting and meditating. To rest and to play. Limit bad news and maximise good. To have the capacity to notice new opportunities, and make the best of them.
Make space for new ideas.
Making Space in my Body
One of the problems with working all the time, is the amount of sitting I do. So much of the time, I’m slumped, slaving over a hot computer.
So making space in my body requires improving my posture so I can breathing more deeply. To stretch and increase my flexibility. To sing and dance and take long hot baths. To walk and to run and eat good food.
Make space for a better me.
Making Space in my Life
Taken one by one, these are just tiny little changes, but add them all up, they make a lot of change.
I have no idea how that’s going to work out, but great oaks grow from tiny acorns.
And so, we’ll see.